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...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Time To Retire

I think it's time for Pandora to retire.

Yes "I."

I... the one who is Pandora. The one who wears that ego like a trophy.

I'm not even going to apologize for not writing since February because Pandora, as spicy as she is, has had nothing good to talk about for quite some time.

The truth is, Pandora was born out of some strange time period in my life, one in which I had to give up a dream to survive and Pandora somehow had enough attitude within herself to survive the hell that was my reality. That reality has left me now and as much as I love her, I'm not sure she's still with me in the same way she was. Single mom is a lot, particularly when you have an emerging adolescent on your hands. And once you find yourself in a "real" career that demands a certain amount of creative energy that ultimately depletes you at the end of every day well... I don't know what else to say other than Pandora did better when she had more time on her hands.

And "single mom" somehow rings more true now than it ever did, at least since the time when Hope was a toddler and so... don't have a lot of time to write these days. And to be honest, I can't believe the small amount of readers/subscribers I have had held on this long. Pandora was born out of a stupid payday loan job which had less readers than I have now (Pandora's Payday Loan), but I can't make any more promises and I can't be a consistent writer (which is obvious) so I'm relieving myself of this issue and making Pandora give her fondest farewells.

Windmill Dick was one of her favorite, though most horrifying, stories.

The stalkers will be missed, though they don't happen much anymore.

I still have political rants in me, but they sound more like "myself" than they do Pandora so I haven't bothered to write them.

The friends that have made distinguished appearances in my blog via bad ass dialogues will forever be my favorites. :-)

And the closer I get to forty the more I think the sex appeal of an eligible bachelorette named Pandora, menace to society, is wearing thin.

It is time to recreate myself, my pen name, and I'm not quite sure where that is going to be yet but I am certain it will no longer be here. No great loss. I was, as Pandora, average at best and, if any of my professors had been following this, she was most likely below average because they all know what I'm capable of.

I still have one dream, out of all the dreams I've let go, and that is one day I will actually write a novel that is not only published but read by at least the same 20 people that subscribed to this ridiculous blog. And that dream may never come true. I may lie on my death bed and say, "I never followed through with what I really wanted," but... that's pretty close to everyone else on this planet so... it is what it is.

Anyway, please know that I appreciate all the good feedback I received while this blog actually went on, as irregular as it was, and maybe someday you'll all run across a piece of writing that sounds a lot like me and wonder to yourselves if I finally did it. Hopefully, if that moment happens, it will be me, but... neither of us will ever know for sure (or... at least you won't).

Much love.

Pandora retires at the ripe old age of 36.