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...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Morning Coffee

Pandora rushes in, plops her purse on the file cabinet, takes one look at the pile of work on her desk and decides a cup of coffee is in order. As she heads to the end of the claims department she sees Gunther round the corner and stride in alongside her.

Gunther:  All hail Pandora! Princess of Property Procurement!

Pandora:  Don't offend me with that tripe.

Gunther:  My, aren't you grand and glorious this morning.

Pandora:  (shoots him a stabbing side glance)

Gunther:  Woo hoo... feeling feisty are we?

Pandora:  I need coffee.

Gunther:  Funny (holds up his coffee cup) I'm in need of the same thing. Although, this would be glass number three for me.

Pandora:  Ever hear of high blood pressure, Gunther?

Gunther:  Pfft... You don't come in until 8. I'm here at 6, I'm entitled to a bit more of the juice.

Pandora:  Huh.

Gunther:  Whatever happened to this mythical 9 to 5 job anyway? I've never once seen that schedule anywhere?

Pandora:  It's a lie. ...just like the American Dream. I don't recall dreaming myself into the cubicle.

Gunther:  Ah... We'll all be in cubicles when it's all said and done. Just another brick in the wall, Pandora, another brick in the wall.

(they step out of the elevator and head down the hall to the cafeteria)

Gunther:  Speaking of bricks, I had a dream last night that I was in Egypt. God how I hope that one never comes true!

Pandora:  Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's no Moses for Germans trapped in Egypt.

Gunther:  Pfft... Say what you want, but I'm serious. Reyna wants us to go to Egypt. I told her that's all fine and dandy except for the fact that she can throw on a head scarf and look like a local. Even if I grow a beard and throw on a turban I'd just look like a dumb American asshole mocking them.

Pandora:  (debating herself over non-fat milk or half-n-half for her coffee) Well, no need to bother with the beard, Gunther, they'd probably kill you just for breathing.

Gunther:  No shit. The last thing on Earth I'd wanna do is take a wrong turn and wind up in one of those massive Death To America rallies they seemingly hold on a daily basis.

Pandora:  (pours the half-n-half into her coffee and reaches for a sugar packet) Yeah, Egypt isn't on my to-do list either. It's too bad, really. It's a cool place, but I kinda wrote it off back in the 80s with that whole American tourists trapped by terrorists while checking out one of the pyramids thing.

Gunther:  (sips his black coffee) I would go to crazy third world countries like Vietnam, Cambodia, Peru... but... muslim countries scare the shit out of me! Those are places where they cut off "infidels" heads so the local kids can play soccer! Oh yeah! Sign me up for THAT ONE! (takes another sip of his coffee while he falls in line behind Pandora at the register) What is Reyna thinking? I mean, she means well, but she sometimes forgets the whole "brown" factor.

Pandora:  (hands the cashier 81 cents for the coffee) ...brown factor?

Gunther:  (throws a dollar on the counter and says he doesn't need change) Yeah, brown factor. She forgets that I'm not brown. She can go places I can't.

Pandora:  (rolls her eyes and starts walking back to the elevator)

Gunther:  Oh come on! Don't roll your eyes at me. How do you think you'd fair in Egypt? ...a girl like you... I read that they can be very harassing to American women, especially ones that look like you. ...sometimes even grabbing them as they walk by.

Pandora:  (swallows her sip of coffee as they enter the elevator) Really? You read that somewhere? Sounds like any city in America to me.

Gunther:  Come on, be serious Pandora. This is a serious question.

Pandora:  I am being serious. I was at the Mini Mart on the corner of College Ave. and University when a dude decided to walk by and grab my ass while I paid for my water. That wasn't Egypt, my man, that was right in here in The Valley Of The Equal Opportunity Sun.

Gunther:  Well, still, a woman like you in Egypt? Nothing good could possibly come of it. One look at that crazy hair on your head and you'd be a target for disaster.

Pandora:  Potential disaster strikes every morning, Gunther, the minute a German guy decides to walk with me down the hall for coffee and starts talking about dreams he had the night before. (the elevator doors open) Thankfully, this one had to do with bricks and brown factors.

Gunther:  Aw... come on now. I'm just keeping it real for your left-wing politics.

Pandora:  I'm not left-wing, Gunther.

Gunther:  Well, you're too soft to be right-wing.

Pandora:  I'm undefined.

Gunther:  Hippie.

Pandora:  (shoots another stabbing side glance and sips her coffee) Well, thanks for the company and conversation, Gunther. I'm off.

Gunther:  Make sure they roll out the red carpet, your Highness.

Pandora:  (waves behind her and keeps on walking as she thinks, "Do yourself a favor Pandora, don't forget to bring coffee from home tomorrow.")

Coffee Globe Source

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