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...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Monday, November 14, 2011

So... much like everything else that has changed since I wrote last May, this stupid blog decided to "upgrade" the way they do things.  I'm currently sitting here staring at this, even while I'm typing, and thinking... really?  This is an improvement?  Because it really looks like a waste of space on my computer screen.  No joke.  What I'm looking at right now is a small white rectangle with an arrow at the bottom of it, in the middle of a huge gray rectangle, with some stuff that looks similar to microsoft word at the top (probably put there to comfort my writing soul) and some some "post settings" at the right margin that I will most likely never use.


I'm really super tired of change right now.  As much as Obama may have used that word to win his way into office, right now it's my enemy (much like the rest of the country... but then again, we could probably make more of a case for stagnation there with the rest of the country, but change is definitely the enemy of my life here personally).

I've lived in this stupid apartment for almost three months now, since my "dumped by the dumpster" incident, and well... I'm not in the hovel anymore, but I am in the same complex (even if we call it an upgrade) and it's irritating me right now (not that there aren't many things that wouldn't irritate me right now anyway).  I moved myself into a three bedroom (which is nice, because I actually have an office now instead of a "living room" that I've turned into an office, which also means I actually have a living room now instead of a "master bedroom" that I turned into a living room), and this three bedroom came with complete upgrades: all new flooring, and renovated bathrooms and a renovated kitchen and laundry room.  It really is nice to look at.  The one thing that's really getting on my nerves is that the upgrade somehow means I've gone green.

Now... I'm very much aware that I'm treading on thin ice here.  I've been intending for some time to rant about how "going green" has basically become some sort of government endorsed religion, but ... obviously I haven't done that yet.  And unfortunately for me, I may have waited too long because that religion has now forced itself upon me (and isn't it just like the government to preach tolerance until it has a religion of its own to force upon the people).  You see, all of my appliances here in this new apartment have "gone green."  And I'll be honest, I don't care about the gone green microwave or the gone green dishwasher or the gone green washing machine and dryer.  But what's really getting to me is the stupid gone green toilets.  REALLY?!  Why did they have to mess with my toilets?!  I am willing, oh great government, to do the "if it's yellow let it mellow" thing, but to force it upon me in the way you have done is just ... I won't even say unfair.  Let's just say it's disgusting.

You see, I have these toilets in here now that have two buttons.  One has one drop of water on it and the other has two drops of water on it.  I had no clue, the first time I used the things what those stupid buttons meant.  So, I apologize for my crudeness here, but I took a doo doo in one of the toilets and I had no clue what I was supposed to do.  I pushed a button, to be more specific I pushed the button with one drop of water on it, and next to nothing happened except I'm almost certain I plugged the damn thing for life.  Later that day I made a comment to my daughter about and, unfortunately for me she's growing up in the "gone green" generation and so she says to me in her overly educated way, "Um... Mom... one drop of water is for number one and two drops of water is for number two.  I can't believe you didn't know that.  Gosh..."

So... In all of our highly intellectual gone green save the Earth mentality, when it comes to toilets gone green we still need to speak to one another as toddlers:  When you go number 1 you push number 1, when you go number 2 you push number 2.

Dammit... aside from the fact that I've clogged my toilet for life because I pushed number one when I went number two, does this piss anyone else off besides me?!?!?!

stupid gone green....

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