Regardless...

It comes in waves: this push and pull, this rise and fall, this inhale and exhale.

At first I just watched it, taking in the beauty: the sight of it, the sound of it, the scent of it. But it didn’t take me long to step into it.

Strange how something so beautiful can be so intimidating: the sheer power stopping you in your tracks. The thought of being swept away… losing control in the current of something greater. You are not a rock. You are not an island. You are a vessel prone to drift.

I took another step, just enough to feel the waves caress my ankles, to feel the sand pull away from beneath my feet while the next wave brought a new layer of sand to cover them, grounding me, somewhat, holding me steadfast amidst the soft push and pull, like the lull of a cleansing inhale and the sweet release of a breaking exhale.

Strange how you wonder if The Other feels the same, if The Other stands behind, beside, or in front. Stranger still, your willingness to feel… regardless.

I pulled myself out of the grounding sand and stepped further… waves breaking just beneath my knees, imploring me to bend, to give a little, to let it take a little.

Strange how it wasn’t as cold as you thought; that same power that once held you at bay now calls to you, welcomes you, heals you even as it breaks against you.

I realized how wet I had become. The waves were coming closer and faster, one right after the other, and the very thing I thought I wanted to avoid suddenly pleased me. I had forgotten what it was like. Me, living in a desert, living in my own self-inflicted drought… I had forgotten… I had chosen to forget. And suddenly there I stood waist deep in that sight and sound and scent of all I thought I wanted to view from a distance.

Strange how you wonder if The Other feels the same, if The Other stands behind, beside, or in front. Stanger still, your willingness to let go… regardless.

I stood there, took no more steps, as the waves came over me. I sunk deep into the water; my body moved, ever so slightly, by the push and pull, the rise and fall… inhale… exhale… so easy to drift… so easy… if I would just choose to.

Strange how you feel no fear, how you suddenly trust it, this current vowing to sweep you away to a new destination, a new experience, a new existence, another life.

I floated there, completely buoyant, my feet were nowhere near the bottom and my head barely above water. I inhaled and exhaled with each rise and fall and push and pull of passing waves… breaking somewhere beyond me… confident… knowing… I could see the shore.

Strange how you wonder if The Other feels the same, if The Other floats behind, beside, or in front. Stranger still, your willingness to drift… regardless.

I felt the ground beneath me again: soft shifting sand. … the power of the waves behind me, pushing me forward. With the slow rise out of the water, my body felt the strange chill of the warming sun. Standing, waist deep in water, I saw another beside me – a drifter in the same current… lulled by the same waves… willing to drown in the same sea… regardless.