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...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Botox Brows

(Crazy walks into Pandora's cube)

Crazy: Hey! (in a sort of shouted whisper)

Pandora: (turns around and pretends not to be startled by the weirdness that are Crazy's eyebrows)  Uh... Hey...

Crazy:  Check it out.  Do I look different to you?  (she poses and angles her face just a bit)

Pandora: (trying very hard not to focus on the eyebrows)  Well, yes... yes you do look different.  What did you do?

Crazy:  I got Botox this weekend!  Check it out! (she runs her hand along her forehead)  No more wrinkles!

Pandora:  Oh!  Hey, ya.  I see it now.

Crazy:  It's so awesome!  Cost me about a thousand bucks, but so worth it!  The wrinkles in my forehead were driving me crazy.

Pandora: ...cost you a thousand dollars for an injection in your forehead?

Crazy: Yep.  But I had to.  I kept looking in the mirror and thinking I was too young to look that old.

Pandora: You know, I never really noticed any wrinkles on your forehead, but... right now your eyebrows are doing a little something odd.

Crazy:  What?  What do you mean?

Pandora: You haven't noticed?

Crazy:  What are you talking about?  (she reaches up to touch her eyebrows)

Pandora: Well, you may want to go check it out in the bathroom, but... your eyebrows, particularly your right eyebrow, is sort of... well... like you've got it raised constantly although I'm not sure it's raised in a fashion anyone would be able to do on command.

Crazy:  Really?!  Oh my god....

(she runs out of Pandora's cube and a few seconds later storms back in)

Crazy: You're right!  (she fiddles with her eyebrow in an attempt to bring it back down to reality)  What am I going to do?!  We have that meeting in an hour and my eyebrow is out of control!

Pandora:  ...maybe no one will notice?

Crazy: You noticed!

Pandora:  ...maybe it will stop doing it?

Crazy:  Maybe.  The meeting is an hour from now, and it wasn't like this when I got up this morning so maybe it will just go away.  Okay... see ya later.  (leaves Pandora's cube)

(an hour later Pandora, Crazy, Santino, Quazi Moto, Cowboy, Egoist, Beulah, are sitting around the conference room table waiting for Bates to come and lead the meeting.)

Bates: (sits down at the head of the table)  So, I've called this meeting because there has been a change in our mapping process and I need to go over that with all of you.  (looks at Crazy and takes a bit of a double take but keeps on rolling)  In the past we haven't turned the documents over to the GIS team until after they've been recorded, but we've found an increase in re-records because of errors in the legal description so we're going to try something new and see if we can catch the errors at the front instead of the back. (looks at Crazy)  What?

Crazy: What?

Bates:  Do you have a question?

Crazy: No.  I'm just listening.

Pandora: (bites her lip to prevent a smile)

Bates: (stares at Crazy for a minute and proceeds)  Starting tomorrow you will all be required to submit your documents to the GIS team for review before you proceed with acquisitions.  I know that timing may be a concern, but the GIS management staff assures me that there will be no more than a 24 hour turn around time and if you need it faster than that ....   What?

Crazy: (looks around the table and back at Bates) What?

Bates:  You look like something is bothering you.  What is it?

Crazy: What?

Bates: I'm asking you what.  Do you have a question?

Crazy: No.

Bates:  Are you sure?

Crazy: (looks at Pandora who has completely pursed her lips and proceeded to stare at the table in a fight against ensuing laughter)  I have no questions.

Bates:  Okay.  Just making sure.  (stares at Crazy for a few more seconds and continues)  So, as I was saying, tomorrow you will be... What?!

Crazy: What?!

Bates: Why do you keep looking at me like that?!  You look like you're either hating everything I have to say here about this new process or you have a question.  So what is it?

Crazy:  Nothing!  I swear!  I have no questions and I have no problem with what you're saying!

Bates:  Then WHY are you constantly looking at me with that look on your face?!

Crazy: What look on my face?!

Bates: (looks over at Pandora who is now looking directly into her own lap and slightly shaking with laughter)  Pandora.  What is it?  You know something.

Pandora: (raises her head and pulls herself together) I really don't think there's anything to know.  She doesn't have a question.  It's just something going on with her eyebrows.

Bates: (completely frustrated) Oh, right... her eyebrows... just something going on with her eyebrows... hmm?  (looks over at Crazy)

Crazy: (looks over at Pandora, as the rest of the table is now looking at either the floor, the ceiling, or the center of the table) Okay, fine.  I had a Botox injection this weekend and apparently my eyebrows are reacting to it.  That's why I have this look on my face.

Bates:  ... uh... what? (looks over at Pandora)

Pandora:  It's true.  I pointed it out to her this morning.

Bates:  Oh. Okay then.  (shuffles her papers)  Well, does anyone else have any questions?

(everyone stays silent)

Bates:  Okay then.  New process begins tomorrow.  Meeting adjourned.

(everyone files out in silence and Crazy follows Pandora to her cube)

Crazy: oh... my... god... I can't believe that just happened in there!  And you didn't help me any!

Pandora:  What was I supposed to do?  They're your thousand dollar eyebrows!

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