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...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Power Ball Ramblings

I was at the work Christmas party yesterday and I won one of the door prizes -- a Power Ball ticket. My first response when they called my number was, "Wow... I never win anything." My second response, after seeing what I won, was, "Nothing like winning something I'm not going to win, eh?" (Of course, during the white elephant exchange, I won a flying monkey which is also a symbol for something like, "You'll win the lottery when monkeys fly.")

I won't know until tomorrow whether I hold a winning or losing ticket, but we all know the chance of winning that is slim to none. And since there wasn't some little old lady that foolishly spent her last dime on that ticket, I'm pretty sure God wouldn't help me out on this one so... no sense in uttering a ridiculous prayer of some kind. But as I stood in the shower this morning I found a lyric from a Barenaked Ladies song running through my head: if I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a house, if I had a million dollars, I'd buy you furniture for your house, if I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a car, if I had a million dollars, I'd buy you love...

I listened to that song continue to run through my head until finally I started thinking, "Why is this song stuck in my head? I just woke up! Why did I wake up with that in my head? Sure... it's a funny song but... when was the last time I even heard that song? The tune is annoying... Why?" Then I realized, it's that stupid Power Ball ticket lingering in my subconscious!

After I had a good laugh at myself and that song, I found myself thinking, "What would I do with a million dollars? I always said if I had a million dollars I would just go to school and be a professional student for the rest of my life, but I haven't thought about this question in a while. Would I still do that?" Then I started thinking about all the papers I had to write and the crazy research I used to do and I started thinking about how I enjoy reading and writing on my own time and ... "No... no... that was something I said in my twenties while in the midst of grad school. I'm over that one. Forget it. So... what would I do with a million dollars? Hmmm... Would I quit working? Most people say they would quit working, but I don't think they consider the boredom factor. And I wouldn't want to just waste it all. Truly... a million dollars could go away pretty fast if one wasn't careful with it. Let's see... I'm 35 so we could break it up as though I would live another 60 years... I would want to invest some so Hope would get a big chunk of change when I kick the bucket... I'd have to make good on my promise and make sure I have that Arsenal Of Funds to help people... I would buy a house, but nothing over the top, just something pretty and comfortable... Would I quit my job? Hmmm... Maybe I would just continue to work because I like the people there. Or maybe I would just focus solely on writing. I would have to do something. I would get bored. Hmmm... Maybe I could do something ridiculous like open a gluten free bakery. What am I talking about? Me? Run a bakery? Am I being serious? Where did that come from? Dang... Thinking about this million dollar question is taking me way out there. My own publishing company though...? One where I support the excellent writers who are regularly neglected by the mainstream and Oprah's stupid book club? That's more my style..."

And then I looked at the clock and realized I needed to step back into reality because I'll be lucky to win three dollars from that stupid ticket. (I do have that flying monkey though... I could win the lottery the day monkeys fly out my ass... now if I could just find a way to get that flying monkey toy to fly out my ass...)

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