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...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Go Ahead, Piss On Me

So, things have been on my nerves for days.  That's probably obvious.

It's that whole ebb and flow thing: it's good for a while and everyone's laughing and then suddenly we're all wishing I had a zanex or a valium or something because... well... I wish I had a zanex or something, but I have this thing about pills so... welcome to my world.

Anyway, I took my dog for a walk yesterday.  It was a beautiful day, 70 something, the beauty of living in Phoenix.  And we stopped and there was a fellow with this giant boxer who was not on a leash.  The dogs started to bark at each other, and I stopped in my track because I didn't know how this was going to go down.  The owner of the boxer said, "It's okay.  He's friendly."

His dog proceeded to come over into our personal space, and he sniffed Charity and the two did that little dog dance that they all seem to do when they want to play, but suddenly they both stood still and just stared at each other.

I truly wish I were some sort of dog whisperer so I could explain or understand the rest of this, but I'm not and I can't.

The two dogs were sniffing each other, and the other owner was in the midst of telling me how cute my dog is when suddenly the boxer decided to lift his leg and take a piss all over my right leg.  It was awesome.  I've never had that experience before, but, if it were to happen, I couldn't think of a better time in my life for that moment to take place: go ahead, Pooch, piss on my life, everyone else is.  It's all good.

The owner was absolutely horrified.  "Oh my god!  Butch!  NO!  BAD BOY!  I'm sorry, Mam... I'm so sorry..."

All I could do was laugh.  ...the hell was I supposed to do?  Be upset that his dog pissed on me because he took a whiff and said, "this woman hates her life right now, let's piss on it for her and help her make a point."  Um... can't really be depressed about that one.  It is what it is.  Go ahead, random doggy, piss on me.  I'll wash it off when I get home.  Story of my life -- wash it off when I get home.

 (stupid dog... probably dated him in a past life...)

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