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...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Friday, April 27, 2012

Charcoal Burnt & Slightly Burnt

Pandora and Sunshine in the lunchroom.

Pandora: (takes a bite of the chicken salad) Mmmm....  this must be why all the other meats try to taste like chicken.

Sunshine: ...huh?

Pandora:   You know... Every time someone eats something strange like snake or alligator and you ask them what it's like, they say it tastes like chicken.

Sunshine:   Ya, well, they lie.  I don't believe anyone when they say it tastes like chicken, because if it tastes like chicken and it ain't chicken, I'm not eating it.

Pandora:  (smiles and shakes her head)

Sunshine:  Mmmm... You smell that?  Smells like popcorn.  I should make me some popcorn.  I like the Kettle Corn, only I like mine slightly burnt... mmm.... so good!

Pandora:  What?  You like burned popcorn?

Sunshine: I said slightly burnt, and yes, it's good!  It smells the place up, but it's good!

Pandora: Are you crazy?  Burned popcorn from the microwave even?

Sunshine:  Well, ya!  What you think I'm gonna do up in here?  Bring in a Jiffy Pop?  Bring in the popcorn cart from the Carnival down the street peddlin' my own burnt popcorn stand?  Of course it's microwave.

Pandora: Oh man...  burned food is terrible enough as it is, but I'm completely paranoid about microwave burned.  That's radiation!  That's all... charcoal from another planet or something and now you're putting it in your mouth and saying it tastes good!  It's going to kill you!

Sunshine:  Hahaha...  I like all my food burnt.  Burnt chicken nuggets?  Mmm....  Or like those french fries you bake in the oven?  Bake 'em ten minutes longer than it says to -- perfect.  Mmm....

Pandora: What?!  Holy cow!  Why have I worked so hard to cook a nice meal for you when you come to visit?  Next time I screw up a meal and burn everything I should call you up and invite you over.  You eat that?  That's terrible!  I'm always so upset if I burn things.  They taste awful!

Sunshine: Well, I didn't say charcoal burnt, I just said slightly burnt.

Pandora: Leaving the french fries in the oven ten minutes longer than is required is charcoal burnt.

Sunshine: (pulls out her iPhone) Girl.... let me show you the difference between charcoal burnt and slightly burnt.

Sunshine: THIS is charcoal burnt:

Sunshine: This is SLIGHTLY burnt:

 Sunshine: Charcoal burnt fries:

Sunshine: Slightly burnt fries:

Sunshine: See the difference?

Pandora: Okay, yes.  But still.

Sunshine: Here, take a look at this:

 Sunshine: THIS is a chicken:

Sunshine: THIS is not:

Pandora: Aaaa!  Put that away! Don't show me that!  That hurts my heart!

Sunshine: What hurts your heart?

Pandora: The alligator!  That's TERRIBLE!

Sunshine: What's terrible?  Why does that hurt your heart?  The chicken ain't got no head!  At least the alligator still has his head and feet!

Pandora:  Are you nuts!  Chickens never have the head when prepared for cooking!  That poor little guy looks like a baby gator they just skinned and threw on there!  He even has a cute little face!  Oh... I'm gonna throw up.  Why did you show me that?

Sunshine: Well, I figured since I was showing you the difference between charcoal burnt and slightly burnt, I might as well show you the difference between chicken and alligator while I'm at it.

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