About Me

My photo
...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A Good Set Of Tweezers

(Pandora is working at her desk when Crazy walks in)

Crazy: Hey!  What's goin' on girl?

Pandora: (turns around) Same old same old.  You?

Crazy: Oh!  I have something to tell you!  I was...

(before she can finish her thought Mr. Toenail walks in)

Toenail: Hey ladies... do either of you have a set of tweezers?

Pandora: Uh... even if I did, something tells me I should say no.

Crazy: Yeah, I got some.  You need 'em?

Toenail:  Well, actually, I was hoping you could help me with something.

Crazy: Oh.  Okay, what?

Pandora: Here it comes.

Toenail: (turns to the side and point to his ear) You see, I got this...

Crazy: Oh no!  No no no no no!


Toenail: What?  Hey, what?  You haven't even let me tell you what it is yet!

Crazy: Oh no!  No no!  I am NOT going anywhere near whatever you got goin' on in your ear!


Toenail: (looks at Pandora) What's wrong with asking for some help?  I need some help?

Pandora: With what?  Ear hair?

Toenail: (aghast) Ear hair?!  Do I look like I'd be walking around with ear hair to you?!


Toenail: (waves Pandora off like she's worthless and turns back to Crazy who has completely curled up in a ball in the corner of the cube in an attempt to stay away from him)  Come on... will you just listen to me?  It's nothing bad.

Crazy: ...I ... am ... not ... touching ... your ear.

Pandora: (pulls herself together, a little out of breath from laughing) Okay, what is it?

Toenail: (points to his ear) Well, I was listening to my iPod and when I went to pull it out the earpiece got stuck inside my ear and I can't get it out.

Pandora: You have the earpiece stuck in your ear?

Crazy: (sits up straight) Oh!  That's all it is?  Well I can help you with that.

Toenail: Thank you!  (looks at Pandora)  See!  It's just an earpiece!  Not ear hair!  I can't believe you said that!  I can't believe you would think I had ear hair!

Pandora: (bites her lip for a moment) I'm sorry... I really am... It's just not often that someone walks into my office cubicle and asks me to dig around in their ear for little treasures.

Crazy: Hahahahahahaha!  I know, right?  That is a little weird, Toe... that is a very weird request.

Pandora: Why not just go down to the Nurse's office?  They get paid to take care of things like this.

Toenail: Well, I thought about it, but I didn't really know what to do.  I mean, what if it's an OSHA recordable accident?  I don't want to be the one responsible for blowing our safety goal because I got a damn earpiece from my iPod stuck in my ear, you know?

Crazy: Haha!  He has a point.  The guys in the field would be pissed!  They are working with high voltage equipment and some dope at the office ruins the safety goal because of some headphone mishap.  Let me go get my tweezers.  I'll be right back.

Toenail: Yeah, see?  Exactly!

Pandora: Right, well, I'll tell you what is OSHA recordable -- if she screws up and damages your ear because you were too daft to go down to the nurse.  Did this just happen?

Toenail: Well, no...  It's been in there for a couple hours.

Pandora: You've been walking around with that thing stuck in your ear for a couple hours?

Toenail: Yeah...

Pandora: I'm pretty sure getting that stuck in your ear is not an OSHA recordable accident.  I'm pretty sure the nurse would've just pulled it out and sent you back up here.

Toenail: Well, I didn't know!  I've been walking around trying to figure out what to do!  It's weird, you know?  I got this thing stuck in my ear and people are trying to talk to me and I'm turning my head all around  so I can hear them better and playing it off like I don't have this thing in my ear.  That's weird, you know?

Pandora:  Yes... yes I know... it's weird.

Crazy: Okay!  Let's do this!

Pandora: Not in my cube though... right?

Toenail: (sits in the chair across from Pandora) Okay.  It's in there... can you see it?

Crazy: Yeah...  I can get it.  (she pulls it out)  Got it!

Toenail: Awesome!  Thanks!  I'm so glad girls always carry things in their purse like tweezers!

Pandora: I don't carry tweezers in my purse, but I do live for moments like these.

Toenail: Well, you're different...and you thought I had ear hair, too!  (starts to walk out of Pandora's cube) I can't believe you thought that!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment