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...over-educated and under-experienced, or so they say...

Monday, November 2, 2009

Introducing Bombastic Babbling Boy

Pandora pulls into the parking lot and gets out of her car just as Bombastic Babbling Boy steps out of his and sees her.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Hey! Top of the morning to you!

Pandora: (polite smile) Yes, good morning.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: I really hate these early mornings, you know? I'm not used to it.

Pandora: It takes a while.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: I just graduated from Law School a few months ago.

Pandora: Oh? That's nice.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Obviously, I'm not practicing law right now, but I will be. I mean, I plan to, but I'm going to stay here for a while and learn some of this while I look for a place to practice real estate law.

Pandora: Well, that's a good idea.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Yes, it is a good idea. Make some money while I try to find a real job. Not that this isn't a real job, no offense.

Pandora: None taken.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: (opens the door for her) I guess I should consider myself lucky though. Most of my law school friends are still unemployed, but not me! I actually have money coming in now and that's awesome!

Pandora: (presses the elevator button) Yes, money is always a good thing.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: You're telling me! I was starting to worry about what I was going to eat tomorrow, you know? But not now! But still, I need to be a lawyer, you know? That's what I'm trained to do. Law!

Pandora: Hmm.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: I don't really fit in here much though because I'm so much more educated than everyone else in this place. You know? No offense to you, but people can't keep up with me here because I just know so much more than they do, you know? I mean sure, people have been working in here longer than I have, but they don't know what I know.

Pandora: (takes a good look at him and then steps into the elevator) And what is it, exactly, that you know?

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Well, I went to law school! No one else up here went to law school. Some of these people only have high school educations. Pfft... they don't know what I know.

Pandora: Most of those folks have been in the field for thirty years or more. I'm inclined to say they know plenty that you don't know.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Ah... there's nothing they can teach me that wouldn't take more than two seconds to learn. High school education vs. law degree? I don't think so. I guess I should've asked you though, you do have a degree, don't you?

Pandora: Yes. I have two.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Oh! You went to graduate school?

Pandora: (wishing the elevator would hurry) Yes.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Oh! I didn't know that.

Pandora: Well, as you said, you didn't ask.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: So what's your degree in?

Pandora: (steps out of the elevator) 19th Century Literature

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Oh! 19th century! I know all about the 19th century! (starts following Pandora down the hall) I know all about those guys! Let's see there's that Wordsworth guy... Oh! And that guy that wrote that stupid poem about the Grecian Urn.

Pandora: (two steps ahead of him) Keats.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Who?

Pandora: Keats wrote the poem about the Grecian Urn.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Ya! Keats! I like Keats! ...and um, you know... that one guy. What's his name? Something Blake? Was it Walter? Yeah, that's it! Walter! Walter Blake!

Pandora: (steps into her cube, puts her things down) It's William.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: What?

Pandora: (sits in her chair) William Blake. His name is William Blake, not Walter... William.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Oh! You know him? Well, I knew it was a W. Anyway, that guy sucks! I hate him! I had to write this paper on The Book Of Lika and...

Pandora: (growing a bit irritated) The Book Of ...what?

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Lika. The Book Of Lika, you know. Lika?

Pandora: No, I don't know. I know The Book Of Los, but no Book Of Lika.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Oh, right! That's right! Los! The Book Of Los! That's the one. Well it sucked! I hated it! It went on and on forever and it made no sense! Yeah, that sucked. Blake really sucks. Don't you think he sucks?

Pandora: (her eyes have now turned to steel) I wrote my Master's Thesis on Blake. So... no. He doesn't, in my opinion, suck.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: (face turns red) Oh, well, I guess you know all about this guy then.

Pandora: Yes, I do. In fact, it could be argued that I may be the one person in this office that knows something you don't know, despite your fancy law degree.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: (chuckles) Heh! You got me there. He still sucks though. I had to write that stupid paper on The Book Of Lika

Pandora: Los

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Los, right, Los, and I hated it! It sucked so bad. And then he wrote that other stupid poem about the Albatross that went on and on. And I hated it!

Pandora: That wasn't Blake.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: What?

Pandora: The stupid albatross poem that went on and on that you hated because it sucked so bad? That wasn't Blake.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Yes it was!

Pandora: No. You're talking about The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner and that was written by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, not Blake.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: (blank stare) ...oh, well, it still sucked.

Pandora: (turns to face her computer and logs in)

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Oh! You're going to start working now?

Pandora: (without turning around) That's what one does when they come to the office. They work.

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Okay. Well, before I go, you need to know something. You are my new best friend now!

Pandora: Excuse me?

Bombastic Babbling Boy: You're like my new best friend now. You want to know why? Because you're educated, that's why! (big smile)

Pandora: Lucky me?

Bombastic Babbling Boy: I'm just letting you know because I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my time here.

Pandora: What?

Bombastic Babbling Boy: This! (he points between himself and Pandora a few times) I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my time here because you're educated and you're the only one that can keep up with me.

Pandora: ...

Bombastic Babbling Boy: And when I say the rest of my time here I mean the rest of my time here... not just today here... the rest of my time here. (waves his hand around the office)

Pandora: ...

Bombastic Babbling Boy: Ok! See ya later! Have fun doing whatever it is you're doing! (big smile... takes his exit)

Pandora: (stares at her computer) My education mocks me... it does... it truly mocks me...

1 comment:

  1. Written evidence of justifiable homicide. Or so says a colleague. ;-) He also wanted to be reassured that he had never taught BBB.